Thursday, March 4, 2010

Have I heard it all, yet?

This excerpt was taken from Parade - Personality Parade.

Tricks of Pageantry

Q) Is it true that many Miss America contestants spray their bodies with hairspray to keep from jiggling and with WD-40 to keep their gowns from sticking to certain areas?--David Evans, Los Angeles, Calif.

A) Too true. The TLC special Miss America: Behind the Curtain made these shocking revelations, and this year's winner, Caressa Cameron, 22--a former Miss Virginia and the eighth African-American to take the crown--didn't mind a bit. "I was really excited about the show," she tells us. "It was good for people to know that there are little tricks of the trade that make sure we look our best. WD-40 is absolutely awesome."

Oh Caressa, Caressa, Caressa.

"It was good for people to know...?!" What, that you're all idiots?

"Tricks of the trade." I LOVE tricks of the trade! But, they were once just considered a dab of hemorrhoid cream for puffy eyes or some some blush in the decollete to give the illusion of more cleavage, Vaseline on your front teeth to keep your lipstick from adhering to your pearly whites and duct tape to keep the girls hiked up.

Now you have graduated to spraying yourselves with WD-40 - a lubricant used by mechanics and plumbers, etc? Oy!

I used to help my dad with projects around the house. WD-40 was a staple in his fix-it bag of tricks. Hell, it's a staple in my house (I have a WD-40 No-Mess pen here at my desk), but I use it for its purpose - To loosen things that are stuck!
Just like when I was a little girl helping my dad, he would spray the stuff and I would leave the room because it smelled like I was being gassed. Dad would spray it and then we would leave whatever it was that got WD-40'd and allow it to set for a while. Then miraculously that bolt or pipe would be loose when we came back.
Yes Caressa, WD-40 is absolutely awesome.

I wish I could find an ingredient list for this magical stuff, but it's a secret per the terms of their patent.
But, I did get this info from the WD-40 can:

Emergency Overview.
DANGER! Flammable aerosol. Contents under pressure. Harmful or fatal if swallowed. If swallowed, may be aspirated and cause lung damage. May cause eye irritation. Avoid eye contact. Use with adequate ventilation. Keep away from heat, sparks and all other sources of ignition.
Symptoms of Overexposure:
Inhalation: High concentrations may cause nasal and respiratory irritation and central nervous system effects such as headache, dizziness and nausea. Intentional abuse may be harmful or fatal.
Skin Contact: Prolonged and/or repeated contact may produce mild irritation and defatting with possible dermatitis.
Eye Contact: Contact may be irritating to eyes. May cause redness and tearing.
Ingestion: This product has low oral toxicity. Swallowing may cause gastrointestinal irritation, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. This product is an aspiration hazard. If swallowed, can enter the lungs and may cause chemical pneumonitis, severe lung damage and death.
Chronic Effects: None expected.
Medical Conditions Aggravated by Exposure: Preexisting eye, skin and respiratory conditions may be aggravated by exposure.

Ingestion (Swallowed): Aspiration Hazard. DO NOT induce vomiting. Call physician, poison control center or the WD-40 Safety Hotline at 1-888-324-7596 immediately.
Eye Contact: Flush thoroughly with water. Remove contact lenses if present after the first 5 minutes and continue flushing for several more minutes. Get medical attention if irritation persists.
Skin Contact: Wash with soap and water. If irritation develops and persists, get medical attention.

This is just a small sampling of the danger listed on the can.
There is so much to say about how important Caressa thinks she is and how she believes her "tips" are important to the women/people of America.

I simply cannot keep still on this one. It's not my fault.

So many women have complained over the years about pageants and what they are doing to American women/girls, blah, blah, blah.
I've kept quiet, not certain if I agree.
This, for some reason - maybe the pure stupidity of her comments - is my limit.

Do us all a favor Caressa. Take up huffing. WD-40 will do the trick.

Have I heard it all yet? Sadly, probably not.
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